


I Love You.

by lizibabes



Series: MCR Bingo [6]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M, Sex, Swearing, references to past tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-27
Updated: 2011-12-27
Packaged: 2017-10-28 05:47:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/304398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizibabes/pseuds/lizibabes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for the prompt Song: Skylines and turnstiles for MCR bingo. After an interviewer asks about the song Gerard thinking about life, the things he could have missed, decides it's time to tell someone he has loved for a long time what they mean to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Love You.

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: I_glitterz  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this story and as far as I’m aware this never happened.  
> AU in that the boys are not married.

Gerard POV  
　  
He'd made a lot of changes in his life when it first happened, he doubts he was the only one. But it's not till he's being interviewed, years later, being asked about the song, it's meaning, that he realizes something. He changed a lot of things, went after his dream with a group of people he loved. He made sure his family and friends knew he loved them, but he didn't let one friend know, just how much he loves them. As he talks about not wanting to have regrets, he starts to think what if something happens to either of them and he's never got the balls to say I love you. Even if the man he loves can't say it back, doesn't feel the same, it'll be worth it, to know he could die and not have regrets.  
　  
He can't imagine the pain of people who lost someone that day, can't help but think about how they probably wish every day that they could say I love you to a loved one, one last time. He wants to take the opportunity while he has it. He might end up heart broken, but it'll be worth it. They have a hotel night and he asks Mikey to switch rooms with him. Mikey says yes, but he asks why, Gerard tells him about talking about the song, about not wanting to regret never saying I love you while he can. Mikey nods, smiles a little and wishes him luck.  
　  
Ray looks surprised but not displeased when he realizes he'll be sharing with Gerard. It takes him a while to ask Ray if they can talk, but he does eventually.  
　  
"You’re freaking me the fuck out, Gerard, say something, please Gee." Ray begs after Gerard just sits there, staring at his hands like they somehow hold all the answers.   
　  
"They asked about Skylines and Turnstiles, what it meant, how seeing the attack changed my life. It made me think again, about my life. There are things I don't want to regret, shit I want to say before I die. Even though I'm not planning to die any time soon, I know people don't get much say in when it happens, when time runs out." Gerard explains.  
　  
"You can tell me anything." Ray says softly.  
　  
"I don't want this to fuck up the band. I don't expect you to feel the same, so please don't feel awkward, I don't want to make this awkward, I won't ever try anything. But I need to tell you this, I have to say it. Fuck, I love you Ray, I'm in love with you." Gerard blurts.  
　  
Ray doesn't really react, he looks kind of shocked, but he doesn't run away screaming, so Gerard counts that as a bonus. When Ray just keeps on staring in total silence Gerard begins to worry, he really hopes this won't fuck up the band, his friendship with Ray. When he'd told Mikey about what he was going to do, his brother had seemed to think it wouldn't be an issue.   
　  
"Ray?" Gerard says softly, he's a little afraid Ray will freak out if he like moves suddenly or talks too loud.  
　  
"You love me?" Ray asks.  
　  
"Yeah." Gerard can't tell fuck all from the tone of Ray's voice.  
　  
"Oh, I'm a little in love with you too, but like I've never dated a dude, so I'm kind of at a loss here." Ray frowns. A huge grin spreads out over Gerard's face, Ray likes him back! He has to hold himself back from jumping into Ray's lap and eating his face off.   
　  
"We can take it slow?" Gerard offers.  
　  
"That sounds good, I can do slow." Ray nods. Gerard just hopes he can do slow, too.  
　  
They order food up to the room and try and make it like a date, they both know being on tour and being famous will make it hard for them to go on normal dates. But somehow over the following weeks they do go out on dates, the things they do can easily be passed off as stuff friends would do together when they are photographed. They don't hold hands or kiss in public, but they do when no one with a camera can see them and it makes Gerard feel almost giddy with happiness. When his interview airs, they watch it together cuddled up on the couch, Ray warm and solid and so comforting. Gerard listens to himself talking about loss and pain, about regrets and taking chances. He smiles up at Ray and gets a soft kiss in return. He ignores Frank's jokes, he's seen how sappy Frank is with Jamia so he is in no position to judge.  
　  
That night Gerard waits till everyone else on the bus is asleep and sneaks into Ray's bunk. Ray pulls him close, smiling softly.  
　  
"I'm really glad you decided to be brave. I probably never would have said anything. I don't want to have regrets either." Ray whispers.   
　  
"I'm glad to. I think if they hadn't asked me about that song I never would have told you either. When I wrote it, I'd changed a lot in my life and that was fucking scary, but I was terrified when I told you I love you." Gerard admits.  
　  
"Are you glad you told me?" Ray asks as he cups Gerard's jaw, bringing their mouths so close together that their lips almost brush together when he speaks.  
　  
"Yeah, I was scared it would fuck up the band and I love the band so much. I was worried you wouldn't be able to be my friend anymore and I didn't want to lose you." Gerard sighs.  
　  
"I will never leave you or the band." Ray promises and then they are kissing, warm mouths, wet tongues and roaming hands. They make out, hot and heavy, leaving lips swollen and necks blotchy and Gerard falls asleep in Ray's arms.   
　  
It’s another week before they get a hotel night and Gerard spends every night up to that sleeping with Ray in his bunk. They never go past kissing and groping, but tonight they have total privacy, they've both wanted this too long and in the spirit of not wanting to have any regrets, Gerard slides up to Ray in the lobby and whispers in his ear.  
　  
"Tonight I want you to fuck me." They haven't even had the chance to go down on each other, not even a handjob, so maybe he sucks at taking things slow, but from the way Ray's eyes go dark he doesn't seem to mind at all.  
　  
"Don't say shit like that when we're in public and I can't kiss you." Ray groans.  
　  
"I'm gonna let you do a lot more than kiss me." Gerard smirks.  
　  
Ray gets the key card to their room and their bags sorted in record time and Gerard finds himself pinned to the hotel room’s door before he's even had a chance to look around, but he's so not complaining. Ray is warm and solid as he effortlessly pins Gerard to the door and ravages his mouth, body pressed close so Gerard can feel just how much Ray wants this.  
　  
He lets Ray manhandle him, he's not passive by any means, but it's clear to them both that Ray is taking the lead. He strips Gerard and himself long before they even reach the bed. Gerard stretches out on the huge bed, watching Ray rummage through his bag looking for a condom and some lube. He watches Ray as he searches, enjoying the view. He's seen all the guys at least a little undressed before, but he's never seen Ray completely naked, never been able to look like this, so openly.   
　  
Ray fucking prowls back over to the bed, so much heat in his eyes that Gerard feels like some blushing virgin. But then Ray smiles, big and a little dopey and he remembers this is Ray, the man he loves, the man who loves him back. He doesn't have to be afraid. Ray seems determined to keep with their theme of taking it slow. He kisses at every part of Gerard that is normally hidden behind clothes, his hands are fucking worshipping as they touch him and Gerard feels like he's turned to goo long before Ray licks over the head of his dick. Gerard has to stop Ray after a few minutes, as much as he's loving getting blown, he's loving it a little too much and he doesn't want to cum like that, he wants his orgasm to hit when Ray is inside him.  
　  
"Fuck, Ray, I want you inside me, baby please, enough with this slow stuff, I need you now, please." He is a whimpering, writhing mess, he can't think about anything but finally having Ray inside of him.  
　  
"Holy fucking Christ, you’re so hot when you beg, shit, no more slow, I promise." Ray groans, only he's a fucking liar, fingers slow and gentle once he covers them in lube, taking so damn long that Gerard thinks he might fall apart, his body wound so tight it feels like the slightest thing might make him snap.  
　  
"I'm ready, no more teasing, you promised not to go slow." Gerard whines, he's not even going to pretend it was anything but a whine.  
　  
"I don't want to hurt you." Ray sighs, kissing him softly.  
　  
"You’re big, but you’re not that damn big, I can take it." Gerard swears.  
　  
"Okay, okay." Ray says, breath rushing out as he moves to roll on the condom and slick himself up some more.   
　  
He slings Gerard's legs over his shoulders, one hand on the base of his dick guiding it, his other on Gerard's hip, holding him in place. The stretch is intense and he's glad Ray took it slow despite Gerard's impatience. He's never been with any one as big as Ray, he thinks maybe he says that part out loud, from the way Ray chuckles, smirks and looks way too pleased with himself. Once Ray is all the way in he holds them both still, kissing Gerard deeply, lovingly. He might have asked Ray to fuck him, but this is more than a fuck and they both know that. Ray finally starts moving once he's sure he isn't hurting Gerard. It's not till Gerard's finger nails are digging into Ray's back and he's begging for more, for harder that Ray finally gives up on taking things slow.  
　  
Gerard had heard sex being described as being pounded through the mattress before, but he'd never had that till now. Ray's forceful thrusts are hitting all the right spots, making his dick leak and his heart race. He moans and babbles nonsense, thrusting up to meet Ray, loving every single second of being split open on Ray's cock. His orgasm is close before he even really realizes it, his stomach and balls tightening, he cums without either of them touching his dick, warm spurts of cum landing on his skin, on Ray's and smearing between them as Ray moves faster and faster.  
　  
"Gerard." Ray groans out as his orgasm hits, voice sounding wrecked and rough with lust. He slumps forward, dropping Gerard's legs, but he is so careful not to crush Gerard, holding himself up on his elbows and leaning in for the most tender kiss Gerard has ever felt.   
　  
They don't move until it gets uncomfortable, Ray pulls out and starts cleaning up, neither of them bother with pyjamas, they just get under the covers and cuddle close, Ray spooning against his back, holding him so close that he can feel Ray's heart beat against his chest, it's oddly soothing. Following its rhythm, mixed with the warmth of Ray wrapped around him has him close to sleep.  
　  
"I love you." He doesn't want to fall asleep without saying it again.  
　  
"I love you, too." Ray murmurs against his neck.  
　  
Gerard smiles, years before a terrible tragedy had made him think about his life, had made him want to make changes and make his life have meaning. Now time has passed but nobody has forgotten, the pain is still there and he still wants to change the world, make it better anyway he can. He doesn't regret the changes he made to his life when it first happened and he doesn't regret the changes he has made after talking about it again. He loves Ray and love isn't something that should go to waste. Things turned out well for him, but even if they hadn't he wouldn't have started holding back. He wants to be able to regret the things he did do, not the things he never did, if he has to have any regrets at all. When it comes to Ray and the band, he doesn't regret a single thing.  
　  
The End.


End file.
